Real Boys by William Pollack - Book Review Part I

Okay, I just picked this book up again after a LOOOONG break. So far, I've read the intro and Chapter 1. Nothing surprising so far. Boys in North America are still largely subject to the "Boy Code" of conduct. Be strong, show no emotion, suck it up. At the same time, our changing society is expecting boys to be more sensitive, which has created internal conflict. To mask the conflict, boys become silent; they don't talk about their feelings. Boys have higher rates of teenage depression, delinquency, suicide and significantly lower grades. And we, as a society, reinforce the Boy Code through shame and an early emphasis on emotional separation. Teachers often fall for the "boys will be boys" stereotype and thus reinforce it. The author is suggesting we need to develop a new code for both boys and girls.

For the most part, I'm with the author so far; although, I wonder if the premise is somewhat dated. Does the rise of the "metro-sexual" and increasing acceptance of gay culture suggest that, as a society, North America has already developed a new code? Then again, when we drove through South Dakota, Wyoming and Montana, there were some pretty hearty "manly man" comments heard there. And not just because there were 500,000 Harleys driving around (a Sturgis August tradition) and guns for sale in every camping store. So perhaps, here on my little island, I live in a liberal cocoon where some of these "revelations" seem self-evident.

Next chapter, "Stories of Shame and the Haunting Trauma of Separation: How we can connect with boys and change the 'boy code'." Wow. I wonder what that's about. And what the heck he writes about for the other 13 chapters. Sigh.